dear diary

i wrote this more than a year ago. it’s funny how i still feel the same way, even when everything - everything - has changed. 

-

dear diary,

last night was a very difficult night and i felt like putting an end to it over and over again. in my desperation, i called out to him - the one person who claims to understand me completely - saying, "if you are real, please help me." silence. even at my wits end, silence. 

this morning as I sit in bed typing this, i think about all the people i love and who love me. i think about how sad they would be if i were gone. how kind they have been to me. how tolerating. and also, how they don't understand me at all. i realised, clearer than ever, than i'm alone in this world. we all are. no one person truly understands another.

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